Misyar Marriage - Is It An Option?

By Kilamxx

Misyar marriage has been the subject of much debate in the Malaysian media these last few days that it has prompted the Director General of the Institute of Islamic Understanding Malaysia, Dr. Syed Ali Tawfik Al-Attas to ask, “What’s the point in debating this issue when there are more important issues which need to be addressed by the Islamic community?”

The debate on the issue was sparked off by a suggestion by Universiti Malaya lecturer Prof Datuk Dr Mahmud Zuhdi Abdul Majid to recognise such marriages in Malaysia in view of the increasing number of unmarried women in the country.

Dr Mahmud, of the university’s Islamic Studies Academy, said allowing such marriages could go a long way towards reducing incidents of vice in the country.

Misyar marriage or "travellers' marriage" (Arabic نكاح المسيار) is a marriage without the couple living together in the same house, the husband not being financially responsible for his wife. There is an implication that a divorce is intended in the future. It is therefore in some sense a temporary marriage.

The practice is not uncommon among the rich in some Arab countries, where wealthy women were not dependent on men to provide them with nafkah zahir (worldly provisions).

Kelantan Mentri Besar Datuk Nik Aziz Nik Mat, who supported the idea, said such a marriage was allowed in Islam on the condition that consent is obtained from the woman who is willing to enter into this matrimonial pact.

Among those who opposed the idea were state mufti Datuk Wira Rashid Redza Md Salleh (of Malacca), Datuk Ismail Yahya (Terengganu), Datuk Harussani Zakaria (Perak) and Puteri Umno chief Datuk Noraini Ahmad.

Women, Family and Community Development Minister Datuk Seri Shahrizat Abdul Jalil at first shot down the proposal, saying it could bring about negative implications.

She said there was no need for misyar marriages because if you look at the ratio of women to men in the country, the difference is not that drastic. In fact, the issue of unmarried women is not a problem and these individuals should not be treated as welfare cases, they should be respected. Some of them are happier not being married.

Sharizat said the basic condition in a marriage is for the husband to provide for the material and spiritual needs of the wife. Yet, she said, according to a ministry survey done in 1994 on about 711,000 families showed females as being the major contributor to the family income.

She also stressed that although misyar marriages are practiced in certain Islamic countries it does not mean that it should be applied in this country because we have our own ways and culture, different from those Arab countries.

The minister later softened to say that the hot debate on the subject from the various quarters is a positive development and indicates a healthy atmosphere for discussion. She welcomes all views and it is up to the individual to decide whichever view to accept.

Maimunah Omar, the President of the Single Mothers Association of Malaysia strongly supports the idea of misyar marriage. She voiced her opinion based on her observations while mixing with women who don’t mind being married to men with low income.

“If this is one of the ways to overcome the problem of difficulty in finding partners, why should we prevent it?” she asked.

From the point of view of the Shariah, misyar marriages are legal in Saudi Arabia based on the fatwa issued by no lesser a scholar than the late Shaikh Abdulaziz bin Baz. In Egypt it was officially legalized in 1999 by the Egyptian Sunni Imam Sheikh Muhammad Sayid Tantawy who is known for his liberal views.

Although it is not haram, Muslim scholars do not advise people to be engaged in such a kind of marriage.

"The misyar and other unofficial types of marriage don't fulfill Islam's aims of marriage, which are forming a settled family surrounded by care and love," professor of jurisprudence at Al Azhar University, Soad Ibrahim, said.

Even if a few sheikhs accept it, Ibrahim thinks the misyar marriage is still disapproved of by the majority of scholars. It creates many social problems, especially for children who are not financially and emotionally supported by their misyar father.

For renowned conservative Egyptian Sheikh Youssef Al Badri, a member in the High Council of Islamic Affairs currently living in Pakistan, nothing is wrong with the misyar as long as it meets all Islamic requirements for a marriage which are the couple's agreement, the presence of the woman's agent (wakil) and two witnesses.

"Whether the man has the intention to leave his wife and move to another country, or not, it is still an Islamic marriage," said Sheikh Badri.

Whatever the arguments are surrounding the issue, the writer believes that misyar marriages should not be dismissed outright as being non-Islamic.

Allah in His Merciful way has provided us with a wide range of options for the man and woman to tie the bond of matrimony in the various situation and circumstances that we may find ourselves. We do not have to use it if we do not need it. It might be the last one to be chosen but the option is there if the need arises.

Think of it as being a way out or makhraj. Just for a minute imagine being the mistress or kept woman of a man. I am sure no woman in her right mind would choose to be one.

Yet many are, mainly due to circumstances beyond their control and various emotional forces acting on the individual. Now, if the option of a misyar marriage is offered to her, which do you think she would choose?

Further reading:-
http://www.aimislam.com/advent/issue1/misyar.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misyar_marriage
http://www.metimes.com/articles/normal.php?StoryID=20000407-042210-7478r